Choosing a doctor

You go to your gynecologist, take a test and they say those four little words you are either yearning to hear or you really don't want to hear: Your test was positive.

And there you are suddenly cast into beginning motherhood and being pregnant.

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You sit there contemplating your options, what you're going to say to your husband/boyfriend/partner, how you're going to rearrange the house, when you should call your mother, how your dog is going to feel about not being the baby anymore, when should you start buying baby stuff or posting it on your MySpace and in the midst of all this it hits you that you are growing life in your body and that life is going to need a care taker outside of you. You now assume the grand responsibility of choosing a doctor.

For the next 9 months this doctor will monitor the baby's heartbeat, measure the growth of the baby, provide you with information you may or may not already know, answer your questions, quiet your fears, let you know your best options and at the end of it all, they will be the first one to hold your newborn as you push it out into the world. It's a big job. And it's a big job choosing the proper obstetrician. Choosing a doctor when you're pregnant is something that needs to be done well and there are many ways you can do it. You can get stats on OB/GYN's from the internet feedback websites. You can ask different women if they liked their obstetricians when they were pregnant or who would they recommend. You can look up names in the phone book and make appointments with different one's like you're trying on shoes in a shoe store or you can have monthly check ups at the local clinic, but either way you need to do it. (There are several programs available to you if paying for your doctor is a problem. Certain states have state funded medical benefits programs designed specifically for pregnant women (Call your county's Human Services Department for this information) and Planned Parenthood's all over the country offer low cost pre and post natal care.)

Choosing a doctor for me was and wasn't hard. I picked a name out of my HMO package, went to the first appointment and really liked the doctor. He is very good, very open and I trust him and his staff. I got lucky. In my first pregnancy I took the name of a doctor went to the first appointment, hated every minute, never even met the doctor as she never made time to see me herself throughout my whole pregnancy and when it came time to deliver she was too busy with something else which was fine by me. The doctor who actually delivered my son was the best obstetrician and I wished he'd been my regular doctor all along. But my sore feelings regarding my regular doctor were my own fault because I knew from the first appointment that I didn't like this office and still I stayed. I didn't question her or her staff because it was my first child; I was new to this and they had been doing it for years, so I let my instincts fly out of the window. Every appointment was a lonely and invasive experience and I just keep letting it happen.

Remember ladies, we have choices. We can choose to have or not have the baby. We can choose to keep or let someone else keep the baby. We can choose what to name the baby, how to raise the baby, how to soothe the baby, what to feed the baby and how to clothe the baby. But the biggest choice we can make for ourselves is choosing a doctor for this phase of our life. A doctor we can trust and ask as many questions as we want. A doctor we can depend on to be there for us. A doctor who takes our views, not only into consideration but to heart, when we tell them what kind of birth we would like to have. And a strong doctor who will tell us that they will do everything to make our birth plan possible but to remember that the health and safety of the mother and the baby come first. So choose wisely pregnant mommies. The memory of this choice will stay with you forever.

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• Choosing a doctor

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